Adolescence… Identity Crisis or What?

Adolescence; the harrowing journey that transports a young from the innocence of childhood to an adult; the harsh realities of everyday life are disclosed. The body undergoes many physical, hormonal, psychological and emotional changes, and simultaneously there is immense peer pressure and the decisions about education, profession selection have to made. Have you ever realized that there is too much happening at this critical turning point of life for a youngster, it is the time when a strong support system is needed, as a small mistake and casual behavior leads to blunders in life.

Now, life has become very busy ,everybody is lost in the virtual world, with very little quality time for others. Have we left our young generation alone to face all these problems and have all sort of experiences ? Do we as an individual or a parent give adolescents THE IMPORTANCE they require so that the children don’t fall victim to problems like aggression, depression, lack of communication and in worst cases smoking, drugs and sexual problems.  How were these issues avoided or overcome in past? how are today’s women different from past generations? what is the role of parents in the success of an individual?

I feel that adolescent time was not given enough importance, although, it is a very critical phase on the basis of which the foundations of our future are laid. When I compare my teenage with my own children’s generation, I can already feel the difference. During my teenage years, I felt great sorrow and empathy for those people who were unable to avail the same opportunities that I was blessed with, and were thus prevented from unleashing their full potential. However, a seed of hope, albeit tiny, was prevalent within me; convincing me to strive to be the change I wanted to see in the world. While I was growing up, preference was given to what was thought of as the “superior” man. For decades, women were not only thought of as inferior race but also a liability, a burden to the family. This was intended to snuff out whatever “resistance” was present within women, however, it had quite the opposite effect. It aided in strengthening my will and determination in proving that we were as worthy as the opposite gender. I witnessed this firsthand; girls from my own school were married off early to wealthy families in the hopes of securing a good future. However, such marriages rarely worked out and further contributed towards increasing the misery of those women. The problems of peer pressure, competition for a professional seat (based on merit), social problems due to spending time in the presence of bad company, smoking, drugs and sexual problems were there, but my family was always beside me in all stressful times. They educated, guided and supported me to save myself from all these miseries. My parents were always my best friend, I could share everything and anything with them, as I knew that they ‘ll never scold or snub me and will always guide me. I count myself lucky to be born in a family where girls were loved, trusted, respected and well-cared for. Unlike many others, my parents fought hard to defend my rights and provided me with the necessary encouragement to pursue my dreams. Without their love and unwavering support, I would not be where I am today; positively contributing to our society.

I am envious of today’s adolescents. They have been given more freedom that I could ever imagine. Females are given the same rights as males. They are allowed to get good-quality education and enjoy a greater degree of freedom as compared to previous generations. Now they are not only more open-minded and tolerant of others, they are smart, self-aware and have a heightened sense of maturity. They are not afraid to raise their voices against injustice, violation of rights, and to fight for empowerment. I sincerely believe that they have the ability to bring about necessary change in our world today. Unlimited access to knowledge via the internet and hands on experience with advanced computers has also played a major role in catalyzing this cognitive revolution. Now they are not only doctors, engineers or teachers, some  women have grown up to be successful employers and even chief executives of prestigious companies. Women also have the right to choose their profession and have a say in their marriages. My happiness knows no bounds every time I see females taking up a more dominant role in society. I believe they are the hope for a better future.

If you are having difficulty in dealing with an adolescent, first try to identify the problem, be empathetic and give reassurance.

Here are some suggestions for dealing with young age problems:

It’s better if you guide your child yourself  in changes occurring during puberty and how to deal with it. You can give simple and logical answers to their questions, instead of expecting them to know them on their own. Telling them about your own experiences will also help in reassuring them.

It is widely accepted that excess pent-up emotion leads to problems. physical activities like exercise and games which include swimming and yoga are really helpful in releasing this energy as well as maintaining physical and mental health. Similarly, indulging in creative activities in groups such as learning new languages, music, art, cooking, and baking channelize emotions, develop patience and teach team work.

Moreover, a balanced and nutritious diet is not only necessary for normal growth and development of body, but also for dealing with all challenges of life.

You must guide your children and discuss their future goals and  education plans.

Educate them about reproductive health, contraception, health problems and repercussions of ignorance, it may be difficult for some of you but it is not impossible.

Keep a close watch on your child’s company, their activities and behaviors, but also remember to give them their personal space.

Behavioral problems, anger issues, depression, lying are very common and are manageable if dealt patiently. But in severe cases like smoking, drugs, drinking, stealing and sexual problems, timely advice of an expert can save you from troubles.

The importance of quality family time cannot be stressed upon enough. Make sure that the entire family sits together and eat at least one meal a day, without the disturbance of electronic gadgets like TV or mobile phones.

Be a good listener and be there for your children without asking any questions or giving any sort of criticism. Always respect their emotions ,as they are very sensitive. I know you need a lot of patience for it, but you have to become The Best Friend.

We should make our kids feel like we always love them no matter what. They should know that they are never alone, and that we will always be by their side .

It is time to give our children the full trust ,encouragement and opportunities they need in order to excel in all fields of life. We can prepare them for challenges of future and teach them to Believe in yourself, so others can believe in you.

Dr. Ayesha Azam Khan